Suckers for Nan
by MadQuinn13
Summary: Pam gets herself, Hadley and Sookie in a jam but only one of them has to pay.


Pam was sitting in Eric's chair behind his desk getting bitched at by Nan Flanagan. She had been bitching at her for the part two hours, Pam of course wasn't listening. She heard fuck a few times and wondered if Nan was getting some business done while having some fun, but it was most likely she just swearing at 'the giant fuck hole the brat of a queen has made' and something bout Eric, Pam didn't recall what it was but she remember hissing at it. Only she and Sookie got to make fun of him, only most her though, she earned it. Well the Queen too...so only her, Sookie and Queen were allowed to make fun of Eric. Well Eric himself could of course. So only her, Sookie, Eric himself, and the Queen...well her human would if the Queen told her too so only her, Sookie, Eric himself, the Queen and her human were allowed to make fun of Eric. Not Nan fucking Flanagan.

"Well?" Pam then noticed Nan was expecting an answer.

"Of course." Whatever the hell that was for Nan just said good and hung up, so Pam must of did good, or completely horrible with that answer, why did she have to be bored by Nan so much.

...

Eric almost broke the door off his office when he stormed into his office.

"Pam!" He was so pissed at his child, even more so then when she kept comparing him to that cartoon child with the blanket sitting in a pumpkin patch.

"Urg, what now?" She was still at his desk, both her feet up on it of course and was playing Sims on his computer; did he expect her to work after dealing what that phone call for that long?

"What did you promise Nan Flanagan for retribution for the "cluster-fuck" as you like to put it." Having Eric do air quotes was enough to make her down right giddy.

"I have no idea. You know what I'm like when I am forced to listen to that woman! Plus my sim and Sookie's sim just got married see that big yellow thing in the corner walking into a wall. That's you." She did owe Sookie a lot of showing her this game.

Eric took the monitor and threw it at the wall. Pam just took her feet off the desk. Clearly he was in no mood for her fun. "The Queen is ready to have my fangs because of you!" He still didn't know what Pam promised but the Queen didn't like it, whatever it was.

"You sure it's me because you almost drained her human and threatened to rip off her head? Sure it's my fault?" She honestly didn't know why he was so quick to blame her; sure she pissed off the Queen before by fucking Hadley and feeding from her but still.

"Pam!" Clearly he was in no mood for any discussions today.

"Fine, fine, I'm going...and what do you suppose I do about this Eric?"

"Start with finding some nice hoops to hang your fangs on." With that he slammed the door shut behind her.

"Ass."

...

Hadley was sitting up in bed under the covers of Sophie's large bed with nothing covering her top half.

"No, no, no and no!" Nan just called and Sophie having better things to do with her hands put the call on speaker. Hadley of course was in the bed with her and waited for the call to end before telling the Queen that she was not happy with this.

"Hadley we don't really have a choice right now." The queen addressed her paramour getting annoyed with her stubbornness as usual. She hated having to _grow up_.

"Make Pam do it!" She was in no way doing that.

"It'll only be a few hours at the most. I'll make it worth your while when you come back."

"No, she's into some real fucking weird shit, I'm not doing it."

"You're better then Pam is, everyone knows this, if there was another way out of it I'd gladly offer it."

"I don't care I'm not doing it and you can't make me Soph!"

"Hadley please understand the matter is out of hand."

"Thought you were a Queen."

"I **AM **a Queen, but I'm not all fucking powerful like Ellen."

"I am hotter than Portia..." Hadley was trying to ignore the Queen's fingers tracing up her chest.

"More fucked up too." Sophie muttered. She feared no one, except the IRS but that was for a different matter, but she didn't want Hadley mad with her.

"Make Pam do it!"

"You're doing it and that's final!" Sophie yelled before pushing Hadley out of the bed literally. "You can sleep on the floor until you agree to be nice with her." She heard Hadley give a humpf sound and rolled her eyes. She loved how Hadley was her own Harley Quinn (mostly in the same child like ways) but she could do without the tantrums.

"Guess you're not feeding from me then." Hadley grabbed one of the red satin sheets off the bed and wrapped it around herself.

"Fine!" Sophie yelled back at her as she left making sure she was out of earshot before calling up Northman again.

...

"Nan knows Hadley is better at this, why would she settle for Pam?" Eric asked into the phone while talking to his Queen.

"**It's your fault, fix it. I do not share and you know it, if your child is deemed unsuitable send Sookie in her place.**"

"Your Majesty in all due respect Sookie has never done anything like this before, I have asked if she would for me a few times and she has always said no." Eric knew Sookie would never go for it. He thought he heard the Queen mutter something about running in the family but must have been mistaken.

"**Say I'll kill Jason if she doesn't.**" It was worth a short, after all Sookie was new, new was always better...well not always...not compared to what was hers.

"Fine..."

With that the Queen hung up with a sly grin on her face. She texted Hadley that bloody less then three sign and a capital D with those two bloody dots on top of each other. Within seconds so got a face with the arrow head, the two bloody dots again and a lower case l.

"What the fuck does that mean! HADLEY WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!" She screamed the last part figuring if Hadley herself didn't hear someone else would pass on the message, like that stupid racist children's game about a faulty phone.

...

Pam, Hadley, Sophie-Anne and Eric were all sitting around a monopoly board scheming.

"How do we trick Sookie into going along with this?" Pam asked

"Drug her." Hadley threw in before quickly grabbing the shoe to claim as her own receiving a glare from Pam.

"You're fine with making her do this against her will?" Sophie found that odd.

"I'm more fine with her doing it period then if I do it." Hadley was curled up on the small chair with Sophie.

"I would rather not drug her." Eric didn't want to deal with the aftermath of that.

"We could just shove her in the car with Nan." Pam did this to people before, Hadley was one of them, thus how Nan knew of her skill in the first place.

"I like it. Simple, plenty of room for error but a quick fix, we push her back in. Done." Sophie Anne grinned taking the race car piece and started to roll her special private dice. Low and behold she rolled two sixes. Pam took the dog and Eric was stuck with the bloody thimble since Hadley's old cat ate the other pieces. Sophie decided to buy the land she landed own and rolled again another pair of sixes. Hadley looked like she was preparing for a nap, Pam understood why, the Queen's dice were rigged to give her double sixes every time. She could win the game while the others never get a chance to roll once.

...

Pam had been watching Hadley the entire game; she now had a blanket around her so who (aside from those on the small seat) knew where her hands were and Sophie-Anne almost rolled a three. The Queen moved her head slightly and while her head was turned Hadley swapped dice with her, a move Pam was hoping the queen noticed, as much as she hated watching this game go on she hated to miss a fight between the couple and looked forward to seeing who would win. The Queen went to pick her up her dice again and turned to look at Hadley she gave her an odd look before rolling. Five. And she just missed park place. Hadley grinned and started rolling with the rigged dice, soon she had Park Place and Board walk, with towers. If a land was valuable she owned it. Switch the dice for regular ones but "accidently" dropping them she soon handed them over to Eric who was sent to jail via chance, Pam who owed money to the Queen who squealed...evilly of course. The queen however landed on Park Place...if she sold everything she still was one million short.

"I win!" Hadley squealed only to push back down by the Queen who grabbed a few five hundred bills out of Hadley's bra.

"Well, looks like someone cheated." Pam pointed out, she noticed Hadley stealing the money from the Queen to ensure a quick game.

"I do not cheat!" Hadley was mocking Sophie, to her face, in front of two vampires.

Sophie-Anne looked furious luckily for Hadley and unluckily for Pam some random guy came with the phone saying it was Nan Flanagan. A few words were exchanged in a dead language and the Queen hung up looking pissed off.

"Would it kill you to pay fucking attention on the fucking phone!" She was clearly pissed. "Eric go get Sookie now!" Eric was just a blur clearly needing no excuse to leave that _fun _party.

"We now have twenty minutes before she arrives." Clearly she was not looking forward to it. She rolled the dice landed on yet another property of Hadley's and flipped the board. "We need a new Yahtzee board these other games simply won't do."

"I shall go get one for you, Majesty." Pam got up ready to bolt it out, worse case she was not going with Nan.

"And risk you missing Nan's arrival hardly. We'll make do."

...

Sookie was waiting outside some very fancy doors with Eric who kept trying to get her to focus after all she was being shoved in with the Queen.

"Sookie pay attention!" Eric was losing his patience.

"Where is Hadley and Pam again?" She knew they both were going to be gone if Nan asked.

"Hadley is at the hospital and Pam cannot step away from the bar, since I shoved all my paper work on her." Eric has done this plenty of times, but after noticing Pam never actually did them he just gave up. He honestly wouldn't have turned her if he knew how lazy she was.

Eric checked his watch and looked around, someone else was suppose to shove Sookie in the car. He didn't want to simply because then she would be mad at him and then she wouldn't willingly give him head for nothing in return and he always looked forward to it.

A black limo was coming up the road and Eric was glancing behind him swearing a good few times.

As soon as the limo pulled up Eric could feel Pam lingering near the main doors and was relieved to know he wouldn't push Sookie in, just open the door.

"It will only be for a few hours I was told. I am sorry to have to do this to you." He opened the door to the limo and within nanoseconds Pam shoved the blonde in and banged on the hood before heading back inside.

...

Four hours later Eric was driving Sookie home as she called Pam and bitched about what she was forced to do. So of course Pam had her on speaker for Sophie-Anne and Hadley to hear.

"Who wants that done to them by non-professionals!" She couldn't believe what she had to do, or that Pam and Hadley had done it before.

"I still do it for Eric every six weeks Sookie. Now what else did you have to do." Pam swore Hadley kept stroking her thigh with her foot despite being curled up with the Queen. Damn it Pam could feel her fangs leaving.

"Her eyebrows. She doesn't handle that well. I don't know why you thought it was so bad." Sookie could've sworn that she heard Hadley laugh in the background.

"That was it? Oh come now we all know Nan is anything but quiet, she's normally a screamer. Perhaps you didn't do it as well." Pam had to do worst then that, like having a certain someone's heel pressed against a certain sweet spot every time the Queen found Hadley's. Pam almost wished she went with Nan instead just so then her suffering would be over, or if she could just join them at the least.

"Hey my hands are covered in dye right now and I did as good as job as I could. If you don't think that's so bad why didn't you just go? Not like you do paper work anyways." She never once saw Pam do paperwork, that was normally what she called fucking someone on Eric's desk.

"I was expecting something worse than that, though it might have been. Are you keeping something up or sleeve? If you're planning blackmail it won't work, plenty of people know full well what she's like." Now however Pam couldn't believe how turned on she was just from Hadley's teasing. Well it might also have to do with what the Queen was doing to Hadley as well but still, a surprise nevertheless.

"Well if everyone knows I'm sure I don't need to tell you." Sookie rolled her eyes and Pam swore she heard it through the phone. "Listen from now on, don't just say yes to questions when you drift off on the phone. If you do though, then you can deal with this shit I'm not taking your fucking spot anymore." This got a laugh out of the Queen.

"Goodnight Sookie." Pam hung up after that putting the phone down her shirt between her boobs like every other woman does without pockets.

"So Sookie doesn't like playing hair dresser for Nan either. Huh." Hadley smirked before pulling herself away from the Queen who slipped out while Pam was trying to get her fangs back in. Stupid teeth.

"Well Pam aren't you going to join us?" Hadley asked wrapping her arms around the blonde vampire, removing the phone with her mouth.

"Delighted."


End file.
